People routinely remark at how I manage to stay calm and composed, especially during times of heightened stress. From shepherding over 150 youth through the local mass transit system to teach them its fundamentals and flaws, to recovering from a highway crash that left my then-partner in a wheelchair temporarily, I am known to be the one to have around during a crisis.
This is borne, largely, from having to fight my own private battles, every day. Mornings exemplify this. I wake, and almost immediately am hit with wave after wave of thoughts - usually inwardly negative - that I have to fight through. As I walk to the shower, it's like a landmine-strewn field, each step tentative, wondering if I can manage this battle, this grind. Pushing through the doubt, the uncertainty, that I am subject to / subject myself to, is exhausting.
By the time I arrive at work, I am exhausted. I have already faced demons, battled thoughts, and survived the landmines of despair. Only then, can I begin my day, battered, bruised, beaten - and yet, somehow, still standing.
This is my superpower. And my kryptonite. For it allows me to take the larger things in stride, knowing that the battles I have fought are worse than any that I may face Outside.
